Reflection of 2022

This was a year I was a lot of changes but there was so much more change (mostly for the good) that we weren't expecting. I found greatness in ways I wasn't expecting.

This year was a pretty difficult year, but overall it was full of so much joy and perseverance. Here are the highlights:

• January - I really started to feel back to normal and stopped having frequent migraines after figuring out what was causing them and other health issues.
• February - I almost lost my dad to a pulmonary embolism but I'm grateful for the doctor's wisdom in making sure he got the care he needed. This year would have turned out very differently if we lost him, and I'm so very grateful that he's still around, especially since he's become a Pop-pop to my little girl.
• March - We had a lot to celebrate in March
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  Josh and I celebrated our first anniversary. It was pretty low key but we always have a great time with each other and somehow not want to kill each other since we both work all day in the same room.
• After 3 years of job hunting, I got hired by a software company in Ohio called Hyland. This was a change I was hoping for but wasn't expecting since I was interviewing for so long and made it to so many final interviews. I feel extremely valued, doubled my previous income to be at industry standards, and have the work-life balance I needed not only at the time but also for the future of my family. 
• We found out we were expecting our little Hailey a day before I started at Hyland, which seemed like uncanny timing since I knew working at my previous job didn't provide the greatest income or work-life balance.
• April/May - We road tripped to Arizona/Utah for a houseboat trip, which was an interesting experience, especially while in my first trimester and dealing with all the symptoms.
• June - I went back to North Carolina to celebrate Esther's wedding, which was a fun time and I missed her so much. It's so fun being mommas together to our little girls.
• July - We found out that we were having a girl. she showed a strong personality that we get to see more each day now. We also got to celebrate her upcoming arrival with a baby shower that we combined it with a goodbye party since we would move to Florida a couple of weeks later.  
• August - We moved to Florida for the journey to setting roots for our growing family. After this trip, I was able to mark off more states I've visited, and now I've been to 42 states.
• September - We visited Pennsylvania to visit my family and to celebrate my sister's Sweet 16 as well as little Hailey who's expected to show up a couple of months later. Little Hailey has also traveled 18 states in tandem with me.
• October - I joined a women's Bible Study and started a friendship with someone who relates pretty well with me. It had been a while since I've found a Bible Study, especially with one that challenges me. The lesson material made me feel so much more equipped to be a mom and an even better wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
• November - God made us be extra patient since Hailey decided she didn't want to show up when she was expected. Much to my disappointment and desire to have her in our arms.
• December - I feel like this entire year was a build up to Hailey's arrival. I had gone through several lessons that have given me the peace and strength I needed to give birth to her. We weren't sure if our plan to give birth at the birthing center would happen, but it did and it was one of the most empowering experience. Being able to give birth unmedicated after 44 hours of labor without sleep is the hardest thing I've physically had to endure. If I had to do it again over, I would 1000% do it. 

I don't have many expectations for 2023, but I know it'll be full of learning how to be the mom Hailey needs me to be as well as opportunities to see friends and family that we don't get to see.

So with that being said, bring it on 2023!

Enjoy the highlights of this year through pictures

My Birth Experience with Hailey

When a mom is expecting their first baby, they have no idea what labor actual looks and feels like, but they definitely think about it. A lot of soon-to-be moms are scared when it comes to labor because it's painful and a lot of work on their bodies.

My birth with Hailey probably be labeled as traumatic since it was 44 hours of unmedicated labor with no sleep. I had some plans of things I wanted to do with my labor and delivery with Hailey and a lot didn't go as I planned, but where it counted it did go as planned.

Before Hailey was born, there was concern about my platelet levels. They were fairly low in my last trimester. About a week before she was born, my platelet levels hit the bare minimum level for the birthing center to be comfortable having me give birth there since the risk of me hemorrhaging was very high. They did say they had Pitocin in case I do hemorrhage, but I need to be above 100. I got bloodwork done a couple of days later (the Thursday before she was born) after taking a prescription iron supplement in addition to the platelet level increasing juice concoction I'd been taking for a couple of months that was keeping my levels at bay. The results ended up being inconclusive because of it coagulating.

On the following Saturday at 4am, I started to go into labor, but it was difficult to tell. I didn't know what to expect when it came to labor pains or what exactly it would look like for me. I had a lot of prodromal labor where I'd get very nauseous in the beginning of November so I didn't want to get too excited. However, the pain was more intense than the prodromal labor. I spent the day counting time between contractions and distracting myself. We took my in-laws to a cute downtown area that was having a Christmas market. After we got home, the contractions never became consistent so I waited it out longer.

After about 16 hours of labor, I called the midwife line and the midwife on call thought it was too soon for me to come in since I'm a first time mom and it's normal for early labor to last this long or longer. I called another time in the middle of the night since I was getting no sleep and she told me to wait until the contractions were more consistent. I was told that the midwife for the next shift will show up at 8am so I tried to get more sleep but couldn't since the pain was pretty intense and had been the same intensity since the beginning.

I called the midwife line and the midwife I was hoping to get was the one who picked up the phone. I explained that I had been in labor for 28 hours already and couldn't get any sleep and couldn't keep any protein down. She prescribed me some medicine to help with both and advised me to take a bath before coming in at 2:30 that afternoon.

Josh and I weren't sure whether we'd be coming back or not. We were more in the camp that we'd be coming back home, but we already had our car packed weeks before already. The midwife checked me and said that I was 7cm and that Hailey was turning herself, which is why I was having prodromal-like labor. She also told me the baby should be born that day.

We followed her instructions and planned to go get some castor oil and orange juice as well as protein (Jersey Mike's was my request) to eat after the birth. Right as we were getting in the car, the midwife requested to get a blood draw for my platelet levels since the previous results didn't give results and there was still a chance I would need to go to the hospital even after giving birth. As my blood was getting drawn, the Lab Corp guy was picking up samples so we had to flag him down before he left. Quite comical despite how much pain I was in. Once that was over, we went to the grocery store, Jersey Mike's, and the mall to walk and drink the castor oil in the orange juice.

After an hour, we returned to the birthing center and went through the last of my labor. I finally started having more consistent contractions once my water broke as I hit transitional labor, which lasted 45 minutes and finally got even more painful. Despite having a high pain tolerance and able to go through all the early labor pain and still being very functional, transitional labor was not something I was expecting. The midwife's assistant noticed how I was reacting to it and advised that I needed to surrender, and I took that as I needed to surrender everything to God because I was trying to take control, which was making it more difficult for me.

That definitely made it so much easier, especially with Josh being the support I needed. I had Josh get the midwife and her assistant when I was ready to push. I was already 42-43 hours into labor at this point and I was beyond exhausted. I think the only things keeping me from giving up was my stubbornness with the fact that I didn't want a hospital birth and the strength God was giving me.

While I was in the process of pushing a couple things happened, first the results from my bloodwork showed up moments before Hailey was finally delivered into the world, which was not helpful but we were all relieved with the results. Thankfully, my levels went up to 110, but we had Pitocin on hand because I did end up hemorrhaging but it was manageable. The second thing that happened was there was another mom who decided to wait to come to the birthing center until she was pretty much ready to push. We jokingly all said that it's a race to see who would deliver first. I won apparently but she showed up minutes after I gave birth to Hailey. Because this mom showed up, it gave Josh and I special time with Hailey as we marveled at the beautiful work God created through our daughter.

I had my answers as to why Hailey wasn't coming when we thought she should have and why I was dealing with prodromal labor for so long. My body was trying to turn Hailey for an entire month and move her to where she needed to be, but was really struggling. Her cord was super short and it made it difficult for the both of us.

It was pretty obvious that Hailey was born pretty late compared to when she should have been born. She definitely showed signs of it, such as skin that was peeling (perfectly fine though since her newborn skin would show up soon after) and long fingernails that already needed to be clipped. We're just happy she is here and doing so well.

After everything was said and done, Josh asked me if I would do the birthing center and unmedicated labor route again. My response without hesitation is "Most definitely." God has given me a body that can do this and was really empowering despite how exhausted I was. The care I got at the birthing center was amazing and I felt very valued there.

The Meaning Behind Hailey Marissa's Name

When we came up with our daughter's name, it wasn't easy for us initially to pinpoint a girl name we both liked. Josh liked more common names while I liked more classic names. We had probably had 3 names that we could go with for a girl but had double that many for a boy.

Before we found out that we were having a girl, we had a girl name and boy name ready for whoever God decided to have us be parents to. I (and many family members on both sides) was pretty sure we were having a boy, but we ended up having a girl. The moment I saw her on the anatomy scan I fell in love with my little girl. She already showed quite the personality and always made us laugh at every appointment. That has definitely translated to how she interacts in the outside world. I'll just say she has some strong preferences and is very strong for someone so small.

The name we chose for our daughter is Hailey Marissa. I didn't look at the translations of her name until after we made the decision for her name. For her first name, it just seemed like it was a God thing because the Irish translation of her name means "Wise One." Wisdom is something that Josh and I have prayed for from the day we met each other and in almost every decision we make. From big decisions (getting married, when to have kids, and moving to Florida) to smaller decisions, we wanted to be led by faith then by selfish desires. God has blessed us immensely through this despite some of the trials we've gone through.

Having Hailey is a great reminder of how we need to be wise with how we act and say whether we're around her or not and I think it's by no accident that we chose a name that means "Wise" for our daughter.

Now for her middle name. Normally, on my mom's side of the family, all the women have names that start with "M." As you notice, we decided that Hailey's first name will not start with an "M" because there are too many people with "M" names in both my family and Josh's family. Instead, her middle name starts with an "M" and it's extra special because we named her after both our moms who are very special to us. I've heard that Marissa has many meanings, but my favorites are either the Egyptian meaning for "Beloved" or Latin for "Little Mary." Hailey has been beloved the moment we found out that she was going to be part of our family (and the moment God knew she would exist in this world) and we love her more and more each day. Also, I find it funny because I go by Mary to certain groups of people so if my daughter ends up being anything like me, I hope it's the best parts.

So there you have it. Hailey's name is special as she is very special to us. We hope she learns to be wise and knows how beloved she is.