t's hard to believe I've been on this Earth for 30 years. The last 10 years especially have felt like a lifetime of experiences. If you'd asked me before I turned 20 where I'd see myself at 30, you would have heard something far different and a bit grim. Thankfully, God has blessed me beyond measure, teaching me so much and giving me more than I could have imagined.
Without further ado, these are the major things that happened and what God taught me through each year of my 20s.
20: Listen to the Holy Spirit's Pull
There was one defining moment when I felt the Holy Spirit tell me 'no,' and I didn't listen. That led to a difficult 3-year relationship with many immediate and long-term consequences that took years to heal from. Because of that experience, and after the healing, I no longer recognize the person I once was. I won't regret the choice I made, however, because I saw—and still see—at least part of that relationship's purpose. I'm grateful God chose me to serve and bring him to Christ, even though I've since completely broken contact with him.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6
21: Life is Full of Hard Decisions and Mixed Results
Due to a number of things going on, I made a choice that had many consequences. It hurt numerous relationships, created a lot of friction in my soul, and left me feeling alone. Years 21-24 were definitely the darkest years of my life, and I'm glad God didn't give up on me. He protected me, walked with me out of that period, and helped me grow into the woman I am today.
You are my hiding place; you shall preserve me from trouble; you shall surround me with songs of deliverance - Psalm 32:7
22: Perseverance Pays Off When Relying on God
Despite very little sleep and food, I completed college in three years while working full-time or overtime. It was important for me to have very few loans and to create a niche degree that would help me stand out, much like the job I currently have. This was also the year I moved to the Seattle area with nothing lined up, but God provided exactly what I needed.
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. - Galatians 6:9
23: Healing is Hard But Worth It
I spent an entire year focusing on healing my soul from years of hurt and poor treatment from others. Through reading books on specific topics, much-needed biblical counseling, strong friendships, and confronting those who had deeply hurt me, I've learned to have a voice and speak up for myself. This journey has allowed me to minister to others in ways I never thought possible since that point.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds - Psalm 147:3
24: Humility Even When Life Seems Unfair or Hard
I went on a missions trip to Liberia, which gave me a different perspective: my lifestyle—including a $20 monthly food budget, for example—made me seem rich compared to those in Liberia, even though in the U.S. I would be considered quite poor. It was exactly the perspective I needed before Covid changed the world.
Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. - 1 Timothy 6:6-10
25: Have a Plan but be Flexible for God
This was the year of COVID and getting married. While others struggled, this ended up being a complete 180 for me. I wasn't sure what God had in store, but there was a good chance I'd be homeless toward the end of the year, so I prayed for direction. I didn't feel the Holy Spirit pulling me in one direction or another, but I did feel a few choices emerge that were very much out of my comfort zone: buying a van to live in and travel the country, moving back home and getting my master's, and trying online dating. I thought online dating was the least likely and something I definitely didn't want to do, but I wasn't going to say 'no' to God. I'd learned that lesson and didn't want to repeat it. It turns out online dating was what worked, and I met Josh right before my 25th birthday, marrying him nine months later.
Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. - Proverbs 16:3
26: God's Timing is Perfect
I had been job searching for over three years and was very discouraged by not getting hired, despite reaching so many final interviews. However, God provided the perfect job for what we would need later in the year: Hyland Software hired me, and I started the day after I found out I was expecting Hailey. I feel my team looks past my relatively young age—I'm quite a bit younger than most—and values the experience I bring, treating me like the capable professional I've been since day one. They've also been incredibly flexible as I raise my child(ren) while working from home.
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. - Lamentations 3:25-26
27: Surrender Control to God
This was the year we moved to Florida, a time when we prayed for wisdom, and also when we had Hailey. We didn't realize it until after she was born, but Hailey's name means 'Wise Little Mary.' It seems fitting that the year we fervently prayed for wisdom and peace during the major transition of moving away from family, Hailey's name perfectly reflected that.
Hailey's arrival has also taught me to surrender control to God. She made me wait extra long for her; her due date was moved 10 days past the original to one of her four other due dates, and she still arrived a week after that. Her labor was very hard and long. I'll never forget God using the midwife assistant who helped deliver Hailey to tell me to 'surrender' in that last hour before she was born. I was so exhausted and ready to quit after being in labor for 43 hours at that point, without the ability to sleep or eat.
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:6-7
28: Contentment and Lamenting
With my first miscarriage, I learned how to be at peace and content with what God had currently blessed me with, while also celebrating with others who were able to carry and deliver their babies. With my second miscarriage, I learned how to lament the potential loss of a baby we were closely monitoring, as I received each call updating me on bloodwork and ultrasound results over a 6-week period.
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
29: God Always Provides No Matter What Happens
In this final year, we dealt with Josh losing his job and, just three days later, found out we were expecting Naomi, after two previous miscarriages. Despite Josh being jobless for most of the first trimester and the possibility of another miscarriage, God provided us with exactly what we needed. Josh now has a job that works even better for our family than his previous one, and Naomi, our 'Beautiful Gift from God,' was born perfectly for us. While I faced some health challenges at the beginning and end of that pregnancy, I've learned even more about my health. I continue to learn to the point where I've been feeling so much better these past five weeks after Naomi's birth than I have in years. For perspective, after Hailey was born, it took me nine months to a year to get back to my pre-Hailey weight, and then I immediately became pregnant again. After Naomi's birth, I've already returned to my previous weight (which is the same as my pre-Hailey weight) in about a month.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10
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