What God has Taught Me Through Quarantine and Turning 25

If you haven't seen my Facebook, you'll see that today is my birthday. My 25th birthday to be exact. It's a big one. I feel like this one is a much bigger birthday than my 16th, 18th, or even my 21st. I also feel like the quarantine ties really well into how I have learned so much in just the last three or so months.

Over the 25 years that I have been blessed to live in this beautiful mess of what I call my life, I have gone through so much that so many people my age have not gone through. I've seen just how cruel this world could be and have almost been completely broken by it, but I won't go into any details about it. But I've also been able to see the beauty of the world we live in and what life can offer. In the last 10 years from when I became a Christian, I have grown into this very strong and independent God-fearing woman, and God has always been my rock during those 10 years. I honestly feel comfortable in my own skin now and have been truly embracing all the parts of me that make me who I am. That includes the happy, the sad, the beautiful, the broken, and the restored. I am not ashamed of who I am because God wouldn't have shaped me to be the woman I am if I wasn't who I was supposed to be.

Growing up almost every year I've been asked, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" If you asked me 10 years ago where I'd be, I would never say I'd see myself here. 15-year-old Marilyn would have told you without a doubt she would be married by now and raising her own baby or two. That leads me to a question I should answer. Do I regret it? Or would I change anything? My answer is absolutely not. I realized that I love where I am in life. I am technically debt-free as of May (which happens to be one of my New Year's goals) but have not dumped the money because time right now is very volatile with everything that has happened in the last three or so months. I still have my remote job but I want to be wise and not dump the money without having a better emergency fund stashed during this crazy time in case I do happen to lose my job. Since government student loan interest has been put on hold until October, I don't plan to officially pay off my loans until the middle of September right before the interest kicks back in. I will have a fully-funded 6-month emergency fund then as well.

Even though I love where I am in life, that doesn't mean I don't want to grow or look forward to the next thing to come in my life. I've really been relying on God what I should do about certain aspects of my life, such as traveling, my career, and dating, and praying for the boldness I need to find those healthy opportunities. I also realized that I wasn't really putting myself out there as I could have been by expecting God to plop these opportunities in my lap. I have become more diligent putting myself out there and finding opportunities to continue growing and traveling.

Finally, I've recently truly realized the position I am currently in and what a blessing this season of life I am in. I have so much freedom that I didn't realize I had and have even more with loans paid. I am going to take this time I have right now to serve others and develop stronger relationships with my current friends and family as well as travel. I already have a trip planned to Hawaii and am currently planning a Europe trip (mostly likely to France) for next summer.

Despite spending the whole or most of the day alone, I don't feel alone at all and have already felt so much love today that I have been moved to tears.

Here's to being 25 and not despairing about hitting this milestone but embracing the fact that I made it to this milestone and the woman I am, the woman that I will become, and where God will take me next.