The Start of My Golden Year

Golden Birthday (n.) - The birthday on which the numeral of one's age matches that of the day of the month. Example: Age 27 on June 27th

I only found out about a year ago that a golden birthday is a thing. You may think it's silly and it kind of is, but it really seems like it's going to be a golden year for me. I'm 27 today on the 27th and I'm thankful for the life God gave me.

Last year I wrote that I didn't feel any different than the year before, but this year I have to say I definitely do feel different. It could be all the pregnancy hormones and changes happening to my body. I may feel exhausted mentally and physically by the end of the day but my spirit feels rejuvenated. I think part of this could be from all the changes going on in both of Josh and my life.

Working for a new company has been a blessing and a challenge. Powering through in my first trimester while starting a new job has not been the most fun, but God really has provided for us and has paved the way for our future plans. My company is very good about promoting a life-work balance that allows me to focus on my health and making sure I get the rest and care I need. I also found out not too long ago that I'll be able to spend 11 weeks of paid time off with our baby, which is something I wouldn't have had working at my previous company. We're making plans for family visits and adjusting to life during the time I'll have available.

Our little bean is halfway to making his or her appearance since I'll be officially 20 weeks on Thursday. This pregnancy has been both fast and slow. We look forward to every appointment. This little one is very active and likes to remind me once in a while that they're still in there. It's funny watching my midwife trying to measure the baby's heart beat while the baby is moving around as if it knows that we're trying to check in on it. Josh and I are excited to find out whether our baby will be a boy or girl on July 6th.

Over the past month, we've been packing boxes and getting rid of furniture that we won't need right away and plan to replace eventually as we prepare for our cross country move. It's bittersweet for us. We'll miss our friends and family in Washington, but we know Florida is where God wants us to go and how we can provide a better future for our families. We also managed to buy our bed upgrade that we planned on buying so that we have a guest bed, and we'll have that delivered to us within our first week of living in our new place.

Year 25: An Exhilarating Rollercoaster

Another year has past for me. I'm no longer 25 but I don't feel any different other than the fact that it has definitely been the best year of my life so far despite how challenging this year has been. If you'd asked me last year on my 25th birthday if I see myself where I am today, I'd probably laugh and say, "I'll probably be debt free and just doing what I can to enjoy the life I God gave me." Little did I know that the guy I went on two dates with at the time would be my husband almost 9 months later. This has been a year full of hills, valleys, and valleys in the hills. It has been the year of lots of positive changes.

At the beginning of 2020 (before Covid), I had a list of goals I wanted to accomplish. I didn't end up going to Hawaii or go scuba diving or travel around the country in a rigged up van. But the one goal I accomplished was paying off my loans. I believe this is really the only goal I accomplished even though I decided to wait to pay it off until the end of the year because the interest rate was frozen. I at least got that down.

I moved again this past year, which has been my 6th or 7th move in 5 years. I'm starting to lose count and I'm hoping that this trend of moving around isn't going to be a thing very soon. I've got furniture I like now so that's an additional motivator. I've also had 3 groups of friends move away in a matter of a month, which was hard to see, but it's good to see them doing so well. I think this was a driving force that God gave me to trust in Josh because I don't trust men very easily.

Surprisingly, I've traveled more in the last year than I have in my life. I've done 4 cross country round trips in 1 year; 2 of which were trips specifically to visit family. I got to mark off 2 more states from my list of states to visit because I got to see my best friend who moved to North Carolina and went to Disney World in Florida for our honeymoon. North Carolina was a nice respite through all of the chaos and stress from figuring out a wedding. Disney World was an experience I can't properly explain because it was like I was a kid again and experiencing a whole new world outside of the real world.

The most significant blessing and change that has happened to me is that I married Josh. I was pretty much close to burn out from constantly fighting to make ends meet. After Josh and his family came into my life, I started noticing so many positive changes in my life. It also didn't take long for all of us to be on the same page and know that we're a really great fit. We decided that we weren't going to wait to get married after Covid because it made sense to get married sooner rather than later.

Then there's the wedding planning...I never thought I'd have to plan a wedding during the most difficult time you could plan one. I always jokingly think that God likes making me really work for the things that I want and are good for me. Just like putting myself through college, wedding planning was very challenging. With the state of our country in response to Covid, it made planning not very fun. I knew that no matter what God will provide the wedding we'd need for Covid no matter how hard it might be. In the course of 5 months, I'd have to say that I planned about 4 or 5 weddings while working full time and moving out of my previous apartment to the one I currently live in. Despite it all, the wedding we had was beautiful and most of my family made it across the country to attend it. It also helped Josh and I communicate more and get to know each other a lot better so even that makes it even more worth it.

I also was able to share part of what my life is like in Washington with some family. I was really excited to bring my 14-year-old sister, Melanie, back with me 5 weeks before the wedding as well as my mother for 4 weeks. It was something I really wanted to share with them, and I was so glad that I finally could. It was such a fun time, and I'll always cherish the time that I had with them.

Finally, I truly realized I have been working my body so hard the last 8 years that it decided to shut down immediately after the wedding. I have been and currently still have some unexplainable symptoms but I have it mostly under control temporarily until I can get some medical help. I do have days where I am pretty tired and have a slight migraine, but I can manage to stay up just long enough and keep a migraine at bay right before it gets pretty bad. I did finally get some movement this month on what could be the cause. There are a couple ideas my new doctor thinks it could be, but I'll start getting some real answers after my blood work comes in from this week. I'm hopeful that I'll start feeling what normal can be like soon. Life is definitely starting to feel like a bunch of appointments and events for me. It's good to start feeling like normal life is coming back again, but it's definitely been overwhelming for me at times. It's just a new normal where I'm learning how to say "no" so that I can have a small break in the week for my health.

My birthday this year has been a stark difference from the last few years because I've spent a lot of my birthdays alone, especially last year. Changes like these can be pretty overwhelming for me so spending it with a group of people who want to do what I want to do is definitely not what I'm used to now.  Thankfully, it's been a relaxing birthday for me.

I'm excited to see the changes and things God will bring in my life in this coming year. I'm looking forward to hopefully feeling better and getting the answers I need. Josh and I have plans (both short term and long term) but we're relying on God and praying to get the direction we need. A lot can happen in 1 year like this past year where I went from single and just making ends meet to being married to a great man and having the stability to get the care and time I need to take care of the health issues that I've been struggling with the past few years.

What God has Taught Me Through Quarantine and Turning 25

If you haven't seen my Facebook, you'll see that today is my birthday. My 25th birthday to be exact. It's a big one. I feel like this one is a much bigger birthday than my 16th, 18th, or even my 21st. I also feel like the quarantine ties really well into how I have learned so much in just the last three or so months.

Over the 25 years that I have been blessed to live in this beautiful mess of what I call my life, I have gone through so much that so many people my age have not gone through. I've seen just how cruel this world could be and have almost been completely broken by it, but I won't go into any details about it. But I've also been able to see the beauty of the world we live in and what life can offer. In the last 10 years from when I became a Christian, I have grown into this very strong and independent God-fearing woman, and God has always been my rock during those 10 years. I honestly feel comfortable in my own skin now and have been truly embracing all the parts of me that make me who I am. That includes the happy, the sad, the beautiful, the broken, and the restored. I am not ashamed of who I am because God wouldn't have shaped me to be the woman I am if I wasn't who I was supposed to be.

Growing up almost every year I've been asked, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" If you asked me 10 years ago where I'd be, I would never say I'd see myself here. 15-year-old Marilyn would have told you without a doubt she would be married by now and raising her own baby or two. That leads me to a question I should answer. Do I regret it? Or would I change anything? My answer is absolutely not. I realized that I love where I am in life. I am technically debt-free as of May (which happens to be one of my New Year's goals) but have not dumped the money because time right now is very volatile with everything that has happened in the last three or so months. I still have my remote job but I want to be wise and not dump the money without having a better emergency fund stashed during this crazy time in case I do happen to lose my job. Since government student loan interest has been put on hold until October, I don't plan to officially pay off my loans until the middle of September right before the interest kicks back in. I will have a fully-funded 6-month emergency fund then as well.

Even though I love where I am in life, that doesn't mean I don't want to grow or look forward to the next thing to come in my life. I've really been relying on God what I should do about certain aspects of my life, such as traveling, my career, and dating, and praying for the boldness I need to find those healthy opportunities. I also realized that I wasn't really putting myself out there as I could have been by expecting God to plop these opportunities in my lap. I have become more diligent putting myself out there and finding opportunities to continue growing and traveling.

Finally, I've recently truly realized the position I am currently in and what a blessing this season of life I am in. I have so much freedom that I didn't realize I had and have even more with loans paid. I am going to take this time I have right now to serve others and develop stronger relationships with my current friends and family as well as travel. I already have a trip planned to Hawaii and am currently planning a Europe trip (mostly likely to France) for next summer.

Despite spending the whole or most of the day alone, I don't feel alone at all and have already felt so much love today that I have been moved to tears.

Here's to being 25 and not despairing about hitting this milestone but embracing the fact that I made it to this milestone and the woman I am, the woman that I will become, and where God will take me next.