His Plan is Always Perfect

As if this year has been not been hard for us already, God decided that we needed to be stretched more.

It has been a very busy summer (and then fall) for us. A lot has happened since I last posted in June, but I'll back up a little more to fill in some gaps before I get into the meat. This will get a bit science and health related. If you're not interested, feel free to skip to the section titled His Plan is Always Perfect. I think my PCOS friends might appreciate the findings I have in hopes that they can find healing as well. I am no doctor, but I'll always advocate for healthier living.

Listening, Reflecting, and Researching Health

The day before I found out I was pregnant in April before my latest loss, I heard someone share their experiences with their fertility struggles and how one of the tests they took was a gluten related test as they shared their testimony. That made me think of how my diet was before I was pregnant with Hailey and the start of my pregnancy with her. Before Hailey, I was struggling with some health concerns through my entire engagement and first 9 months of marriage with Josh, which is why I went gluten free. I figured out the partial cause of the biggest health concerns and thought that I resolved them about 6 months before I got pregnant with Hailey. I still stayed gluten free for a good portion of Hailey's pregnancy. It wasn't until I was encouraged to eat a little bit more when it comes to carbs and then after she was born that I stopped being gluten free. 

I'm not saying that being on gluten was the cause of both my miscarriages nor am I blaming myself for either, but going gluten free has been a healthier lifestyle that has made me feel better. A lot of people don't realize that when you become gluten free, it takes gluten about a month or so to have it completely removed from of your system. You might feel better but underlying issues might still be seen. Unfortunately, if this was at all a cause or factor in my miscarriage, I found out too late.

After my miscarriage in early June, we worked with a fertility clinic to make sure everything with our genes aren't the problem. Thankfully, I carry no genes that would cause miscarriages (which also meant Josh was in the clear) but we didn't get too many answers other than that. While going through testing, I kept reading and watching information about people with PCOS symptoms and how it's becoming more common with little known reason for why more women are dealing with these issues. After research, I learned that more recently it was understood that PCOS has been showing more of an insulin resistance response, which continued to prove my theory that gluten can be the cause of my infertility lately. I also follow a couple where the husband who helped reverse the wife's PCOS through cooking her meals that were gluten free and dairy free. Now they have 2 beautiful daughters, which is very inspiring. Although I am not dairy free yet, I already noticed going gluten free started reversing some previous pre-pregnancy symptoms that were even better than before Hailey so it made me think that I should be treating my body like it deals with PCOS symptoms.

His Plan is Always Perfect

If you stuck with me through the research rabbit trail and discoveries I made in the summer, I'm glad you stuck around. However, if you skipped ahead to here, I'm still glad you stayed because you get to hear what's been happening lately. There is still a little bit of medical talk but it's important to this part of the story.

The rest of the summer was pretty busy with working with a fertility clinic (mentioned in the last paragraph of the section above) and seeing things checking out in the event that there is a cause genetically. After checking all the boxes and given a clean bill of health in the genetic department on my side, the plan was for me to do a hybrid IUI treatment, which was daily blood thinner injections and then progesterone supplementation once I was pregnant. Although the daily blood thinner injections seemed uncomfortable, I was willing to go through it because we feel like God has been calling us to grow our family.

We were told that we'd start treatment once my next cycle started but I ended up finding out I was pregnant again before that at the beginning of September. Thankfully, we skipped the pre-pregnancy blood thinner injections (to provide more blood flow to the baby) and went straight into it along with a high dosage of progesterone supplementation because my body definitely needs help with progesterone.

Unfortunately, 3 days before finding out we were pregnant, Josh's company told him that they were laying him off and he would be unemployed at the start of November, which means we would also lose our health insurance at the end of November. It was definitely a lot of mixed feelings for both of us. Fear. Excitement. Frustration. Joy. The timing for both to happen at the same time weren't great, especially since we were expecting to have my sister living with us a few weeks later, but we were trusting that God will take care of all of us.

But God used both our situations to support each other. While I struggled with doubts that this baby will make it, Josh made sure to continuously encourage me and support me with the extra maintenance it required to give this baby the best chance it could have. While Josh grappled job loss and feeling betrayed by the company he supported for over 6 years, I was able to reassure him that God has something much better planned as he was already considering job hunting for the last 6 months.

We were purposely looking for the blessings amongst what felt like chaos. Melanie has been a blessing to have around as she has been really great at helping around the house but especially helpful loving on Hailey when I struggle with the energy to do very much since I've been on a high progesterone dosage. At around 6 weeks, we confirmed that there was an embryo. At around 7-8 weeks, we heard the heartbeat (bringing me nearly to tears) but we knew we weren't out of the woods yet, but having that heartbeat was a HUGE milestone for us.

I'll be officially 14 weeks on Monday, which means we made it to the second trimester! I've already graduated from the blood thinner injections and I have been working on weaning my body off the progesterone and should be off it completely in the beginning of December. I'm slowly getting energy back and look forward to feeling more normal. We also got to see our baby again a few days ago because he/she is great at playing hide and seek and refused to allow the midwives to get his/her heartbeat. This little one made us laugh because he/she is just as wiggly as much (if not more) than Hailey was. Plus, he/she has an obsession with his/her hands like big sister.

Soon after we heard the heartbeat, I ordered this onesie as the going home onesie for this little one. I felt it was the most appropriate because although this year has been hard for us and we may not know why we're going through everything that we have, God's plan is perfect and He deserves all the glory here.

This little one should be joining our crew in May 2025.

Oh the Places You Go

First day on the road (WA State)

People always ask us why we made a decision to move to Florida, which seems so drastic. I feel like now that Josh and I are a little bit settled down in Florida (and I have a day off work) I can share how God brought us to Florida.

This past year we celebrated our first year of marriage. In that year, God has allowed us to refine our family vision that we started talking about when we were dating and figuring out whether the life we hoped to live would match up. Thankfully, our visions were and still are the same. Because family is important to the both of us, we've been listening to God's call and felt his pull to move to Florida.

How the Idea of Moving Came to Us

Church with a huge cross in Texas we passed

The idea of moving to Florida wasn't a moment where we closed our eyes, spun ourselves in a circle, and then put our finger on a map. Our move to Florida is a work of God. God came to us individually about this and we both wrestled with this internally before we shared this with each other. Neither of us initially wanted to move because it would mean we would be leaving Josh's family and it didn't help that my cross country move to Washington was pretty traumatic even though I've never shared that publicly online.

We felt like God was calling us to move for many reasons one of those being the atrociously high costs of the Washington housing market. We wouldn't be able to afford buying a home for several years if we stayed and I would have to continue working despite our decision for me to homeschool our children. Florida has the potential for us to not only buy a home, but also build one that is a multi-generational home where we could end up taking care of our parents later in the future but also use our home as a ministry. 

Despite knowing this fact, we came to the conclusion that if God is truly calling us to move we would give time for the decision, continue being open to the idea that He wants us to move Florida, and seek counsel from our loved ones and others affected by this decision. Over the course of a year, God has given us some of the biggest signs that would be clear to us that He wants us to continue pursuing this move.

Family First

Red Cat Café menu board in Birmingham, AL

It was important for us that both our families were onboard with our plans. If they weren't onboard, we knew this was a clear sign that God did not want us to pursue the idea of moving away from family. We were honestly surprised with their responses. It turns out Josh's parents and grandmother want to move as well, but it'll probably take them about 3-5 years once Josh's dad is able to retire.

With living on the opposite side of the country from my family, it's hard to find affordable plane tickets from Washington to Pennsylvania. If we fly from Florida, it's a third of the cost on plane tickets, which makes it much easier to see my family. For visiting Washington, we can probably make it cheaper for us when Josh's company flies him out and pays for a hotel and car rental for us. All we'd have to pay is for my plane ticket (and "lap child" tax).

Work-Life Balance

One of the other concerns where we thought God might cause a red flag was our jobs. My job I was currently working at the time wouldn't have been a problem, but my new job was more than happy for me to be thinking about moving to the same time zone. It was Josh's job that we weren't sure would be on board with us moving to Florida. It turned out that Josh's company thought the move was beneficial for them since they needed IT presence in the east coast.

And Now We're in Florida

Made it to Florida!

Several other pieces aligned for us perfectly, too. With my new job, it doubled my income and allowed us to save exactly what we needed to get movers to ship our stuff across the country and to get us there. He has given us peace, especially for me, during a time that isn't easy. The road trip was as safe and easy as it can be, which was something I had wrestled with for weeks before this move. And despite being at the end of my second trimester, God has given me good health where I feel fairly normal and I am functioning during all these changes.

In front of our new home

God has blessed us immensely and has been reminding us in the last month with continued blessings through His provision. When we look out our windows in our living room, we have a clear view of a giant cross a few miles away, which gave us peace knowing that God has been with us and continues to be with us.

We've only tried one church out the past 2 weeks and the sermons series that the pastor is sharing is all about hearing and listening to God. It has been validating to us as we've had some moments of "Is this really God or is this our own selfish desires?" In yesterday's sermon, the pastor listed off how to determine if a decision is God inspired or if it's our selfishness, which included

• Your thinking aligns with God's Word (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)
• Your thinking aligns with Godly counsel
• Your thinking aligns with time - Don't be in a hurry
• Your thinking with God's purposes (Romans 8:28, 11:36, James 4:3)
• Your thinking aligns with peace (John 14:26-27, 16:33, Philippians 4:6-7)

As we listened, we both took in all that the pastor said and both felt comforted that what the Bible says we're following God's, and He wants us to know not to be downhearted about missing family and friends we left in Washington for this move since we'll still be able to see them again when we visit.

The birthing center where our daughter will be born

Finally, I was able to quickly get into the birthing center that I researched like crazy so that I could get the best care for me and our daughter during these last few months. It's honestly a God thing. Thankfully, it didn't cost a fortune for the rest of the care and labor and delivery fees, which are all paid. I know a lot of new moms are afraid of childbirth, but I walked out of my consultation with confidence and peace with our decision. I'm surprisingly at peace with the idea of childbirth and plan to use this experience as a way to thank God that He has given me a body that has cared so well for this baby despite how much my health suffered in the past. I'm enjoying every little kick and tickle this little girl gives me as we count down the weeks when we can finally meet our daughter and take her home with us.